-64 [Action/accidental voice]

[fortunefail]

[Wearing a thick cloak and hands buried deeply in his pockets, Yuan is stumping through Luceti, heading for the forest. Things are getting far too crowded for his liking, so he'll go out to find some peace and quiet. He's bringing his journal along just in case, unaware it's recording:]

...Damn. It's so cold, you could hammer a nail with a frozen banana.

Comments

[killinurd00dz.livejournal.com]

YOU COULD HAMMER IN SOMEONE'S HEAD WITH A FROZEN BANANA. IT MIGHT KILL THEM. TAKE THAT CHANCE. IN FACT, TAKE THAT CHANCE FOR EVERYONE. IT WOULD GET RID OF YOUR OBVIOUS ANNOYANCE.

[fortunefail]

...

[What. What.]

[killinurd00dz.livejournal.com]

WHAT, WAS I NOT CLEAR? ALLOW ME TO ELABORATE. TAKE A FROZEN ROCK-HARD BANANA. ARE YOU HOLDING IT? GOOD. NOW SMASH IT AGAINST SOMEONE'S HEAD. KILL THEM. REPEAT UNTIL YOU HAVE ERADICATED THE SOURCE OF YOUR VEXATION.

BECOME THE GOD OF THIS WORLD, UNTIL I TAKE IT FROM YOU.

[fortunefail]

That's ridiculous! I'm not going to kill people with bananas for no reason!

[killinurd00dz.livejournal.com]

WHO SAYS WE HAVE TO LIMIT IT TO JUST BANANAS? FROZEN GRAPES CAN BE USED AS BULLETS. THEY'LL BE A MITE UNWIELDY, BUT THAT'S ALL RIGHT. I AM SURE YOU CAN HANDLE IT. YOU CAN ALSO TAKE SOMEONE AND BURY THEM UP TO THEIR WAIST.

THEN THROW FROZEN ORANGES AT THEIR HEAD.

BE CREATIVE, YUAN-CHAN. UNFORTUNATELY, I DO NOT BELIEVE THAT WOULD KILL YOU.

[fortunefail]

[What in the world is this person?]

Just be quiet!

[killinurd00dz.livejournal.com]

I WOULD IF YOU WENT ON A GOOD OLD-FASHIONED KILLING SPREE. THAT WOULD SHUT ME UP QUITE NICELY. I WOULD BE TOO PREOCCUPIED WITH THE BEAUTY OF THE BRIGHT RED RIVERS STAINING THE STREETS TO SAY A WORD.

GO ON, YUAN-CHAN. USE SOME FROZEN FRUIT FOR BONUS POINTS.

[fortunefail]

No! Go bother someone else!

[killinurd00dz.livejournal.com]

WHY WOULD I DO THAT? YOU'LL BE ALMOST AS MUCH FUN AS SLAVE-CHAN.

AND I DO LOVE TO HAVE FUN. USUALLY BY KILLING PEOPLE. BUT HAVING A PLEASANT CONVERSATION WITH YOU WILL DO QUITE WELL.

[fortunefail]

This conversation is far from pleasant. And stop yelling!

[killinurd00dz.livejournal.com]

YELLING? YOU CONSIDER THIS YELLING? WHAT AN ODD WORLD.

But all right. I suppose I can make one small concession. After all, what is keeping my voice volume when compared to losing a slave?

I believe you need to adjust your definition of pleasant, Yuan-chan. Talking with me is always pleasant.

[fortunefail]

You're awfully full of yourself, aren't you?

[killinurd00dz.livejournal.com]

No more so than the history in your world would lead the average man to believe about you, Yuan-chan. It goes hand-in-hand with being a triple agent. After all, you'd have to have a high opinion of yourself to convince yourself that you could pull it off. What happened with you?

Oh, that's right. You got discovered, with a nice series of kicks to the stomach. Good work.

[fortunefail]

Wh-

How do you know about that?!

[killinurd00dz.livejournal.com]

I am Raighto. Knowing everything about you is what I do.

Why do you question God? God is not your dead girlfriend. God is me.

[fortunefail]

Gods don't exist.

[killinurd00dz.livejournal.com]

Oh, Yuan-chan, I'm talking to you right now. What does it say about you if I don't exist?

[fortunefail]

That you're an idiot with a god complex.

[killinurd00dz.livejournal.com]

Ohohoho. God complexes. Funny how those turn out - when you get mixed up with someone who has one, it usually involves kicking ass. Your ass, to be specific. And me, an idiot? Say what you will about the rest of me, but it's pretty undeniable that I'm anything but that.

And neither of these address the issue that you're quite clearly talking to me while at the same time expressing doubt in my existence, my dear Slave-chan-two.

[fortunefail]

Just how stupid are you? I said gods don't exist! If I say you're an idiot with a god complex, obviously that means I'm not doubting your existence in the slightest.

[OOC: No no, it's fine. I love it.]

[killinurd00dz.livejournal.com]

But I am a god, so you must be.

What an unfulfilling existence. Allow me to free you from it.

[fortunefail]

... Do whatever you like.

[killinurd00dz.livejournal.com]

Normally I would kill you, because that is what I do.

But I think it would be more productive to make you Slave-chan-two.

Now kill everyone here, then bring me some Chianti.

[fortunefail]

No.