fortunefail | - 87 [Accidental voice / Action]

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- 87 [Accidental voice / Action]

[Locked]

[Yuan's scribbled something in his journal. It's a tally on how often certain people from Aselia have arrived in Luceti, to his knowledge. He was hoping to find a pattern, but there doesn't seem to be one.]

[Voice]

[And just as Yuan finishes locking up the filter, something distracts him, causing him to activate the recording function without realizing it. It's a soft but rapid tapping sound.]

Oh, Selene. [Footsteps, and a window opening.] It's snowing again, hm? ... Come in, then.

[The window is shut again and the journal catches a glimpse of Yuan walking past, holding something small, grey and fluffy in his hand. He's on the other side of the room now, but his voice can still be heard if you listen closely.] I doubt the cold will let up any time soon. It'd be best if you continue to sleep here until winter ends. ... No, I won't mind at all.

[He returns a moment later to find that the journal is recording him and shuts it with an annoyed grunt.]

[Action]

[Four years. Four years of being stuck in Luceti. He remembers being astounded for his first anniversary, but four years is something he never expected to happen. Compared to the long life he's already lived, four years might seem like nothing- just a small fraction. Yet Luceti's always been so hectic, so full of painful and awkward experiences that those four years seem like an eternity in itself.

Martel is in Luceti. Yuan still hasn't spoken to her since she left the house to meet with Mithos. Not properly, anyway. He knows she's all right, because she sent him the occasional message on the journal system, but nothing concrete. He never got around to telling her anything about Cruxis, the Church of Martel, the Desians, the Renegades... All the mistakes they've made after her death. ... He couldn't even tell her that she'd died. But how much had Mithos told her by now? How far would he have twisted the truth? He must've told her who's responsible for his death penalty. There is no excuse for this, Yuan knows that, but he still feels the need to explain himself to Martel.

It's leaving him very restless and the fact that Lloyd is still staying in the house isn't exactly helping that. Despite the cold, he's been venturing out into the forest every day to train- 'Train' being a very generous word for it, because most of the time is being spent just sitting and thinking in peace.

Feel free to catch him either by house 8 or in the forest itself.]

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[The world could wait. And so could she.]

-Am perfectly fine! See? I told you so. Mithos is doing... well enough, too. He... sends his greetings!

[It does not take a grand diviner to guess Martel is lying.]

Are you alright? And Kratos?

[Mithos sends his greetings? Did she really think Yuan would fall for that? Even if Mithos hadn't told her anything about their 'disagreements', that pause was enough of a hint.]

We're... [He trails off. He can't even bring himself to finish that sentence.]

... How much did Mithos tell you?

[Martel stays silent for a disturbingly long time, staring at a patch of snow a few yards away from Yuan's house, before speaking up again in a very quiet voice, her smile gone from her face.]

Once upon a time, there was a village in a very big forest. A little girl lived in a house there, alone with her mother. Often enough, things would go wrong among the villagers - friends would argue, or children would act act as children tend to. And every single time, they blamed it on the little girl. They took her home to her mother and said, "Your daughter did this!". And even though she had not been there, her mother always believed them. The little girl felt very sad about that.

[Martel's eyes rise back to meet Yuan's.]

So the little girl decided that once older, when she would be the one people would come to quarreling, she would start by asking everyone what had happened, and that only then she would judge. Naïve, maybe. But the little girl liked to believe in people, and she wants to try to believe in them still.

[Her smile returns, though it looks unusually weary.]

Do you want to sit somewhere?

[As Martel launches into the first half of her story, Yuan finds himself wondering what that even has to do with anything. When she reaches the bit about judging, it clicks, but not in a good way. What sort of things has Mithos been telling her, if she's talking about still wanting to believe in them?]

... Yes.

[He's a little hesitant about taking Martel inside the house for this conversation now that Lloyd is staying with them, but... Honestly? Nowhere in the village has enough privacy either way. He'll just have to risk it and hope Lloyd won't go wandering around the house.

So he steps aside, indicating Martel should enter.]

Well then let's go do just that!

[Martel quietly thanks Yuan as he steps aside, entering the house. She takes a few steps inside and smiles - genuinely - at the sight of the couch.]

I think I will spare the poor thing more staining this time. A chair it is.

[She walks through the living room and into the dining room, quietly pulling and sitting down on a chair there, then turns around to look at Yuan, her right hand atop the table, waiting for him to join her there.]

Edited (Two in the morning, I am innocent I swear) 2012-01-17 01:18 (UTC)

[Yuan follows her into the dining room, making sure to close the door behind himself firmly before taking a seat as well. Still, he doesn't know what to say, so he'll just stare blankly at the table before him and wait for Martel to question him.]

[Martel follows Yuan with her eyes until he joins her at the table, only to stop doing so the second he sits there. Instead, she stares at her hand, letting the silence stretch for a very long time before speaking.]

...I...

[Her words fail her and she sighs. Well, this is off to a grand start. Martel shakes her head and clears her throat before attempting to talk again, her voice calm.]

I cannot pretend that I understand exactly where we are, or why we are here. Or even why most of the things that... seem to have happened in my... absence... happened at all. And to be perfectly honest, I think that it would be much better for all of us if I ignored it one and all and went about as if whatever took place before my arrival had never happened.

[A pause.]

However, it would be very difficult to pretend that Mithos' leg is not... damaged. And that promises once given to me were obviously broken.

[As is Mithos himself.]

I heard what Mithos had to say about it. And I am... surprised. Still, I promised to myself I would not judge anyone before having heard all sides of their story - and I would like to believe that my fiancé, of all people, would not strike my brother for no reason.

[Another pause, longer than the last.]

Would you please share your side of that story, Yuan?

[This is about Mithos's leg? Just that particular instance? That isn't even close to everything Yuan has done to 'strike out' against Mithos.]

Mithos is... no longer the same boy he once was. Kratos and I are to blame for that. We neglected to look after him like you asked us to do. We didn't realize what he had become until it was too late.

[He leans back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. He won't let her interrupt, he'll just keep talking until he's done.]

Mithos is emotionally unstable. He's attacked many residents in the past year alone, simply because they tried to get close to him. [Or because they tried to get close to Martel, but... He doesn't know if anyone's told Martel she was here before, so he'll conviently neglect to mention that.]

I've warned him time and time again to keep out of trouble. That I wouldn't hesitate to step in if he harmed any more innocent people. I've... broken one of his wings over half a year ago, to stop him from assaulting me, but he still didn't learn his lesson. We imprisoned him in the tunnels below the village for a month or so, but he escaped and nothing at all had changed. ... Then, two months ago, I had to follow through on my threats to protect another one of the villagers.

[So Yuan has killed Mithos. That much, at least, seems to be true. As is their betrayal of their promise.]

...What am I even supposed to say to this?

[She only has herself to blame. Weak Martel. Sick, useless Martel always standing in the back. She wishes she could be angry; at Yuan, at Kratos, at Mithos, at anyone. But they would never have failed to keep their promises to her if she had not failed to keep her single, simple promise to them first. She had said she would be alright. She had said it so many times.

She had said it again only a few minutes ago, even though she knows now exactly how much of a lie it is.]

I'm sorry.

[Martel slips into another long, uneasy silence, before speaking again in a shaky voice.]

"Two months ago". "Half a year ago". "In the past year". "Until it was too late". Yuan, how long have I been...

[Dead.]

...missing?

[Yuan wishes things had ended up differently. He wishes that they could've simply said "no" to Mithos's plans from the start and left Martel to rest in peace. That they'd germinated the seed and united the worlds like they'd originally intended over four thousand years ago. It would've been the right thing to do.

But Mithos, Kratos and himself... They all made the same mistake. They all strayed from the path they'd set out for themselves the moment they lost Martel to guide them. There is no one to blame for her disappointment but the three of them, the way he sees it. He owes her the truth, no matter how painful it is.]

... Time is a tricky thing in this place. I myself have been here for nearly four years. Mithos has been here for over one year and Kratos for about five months. Both of them have been here before, but lost their memories of their previous stays here.

[He pauses for a moment, letting that sink in.] You yourself have also been here before. ...This is your fifth appearance in these past four years and your memories of Luceti are always lost when you return here.

[Fifth appearance in four years and..?]

...Yuan.

[Martel looks up at her fiancé in pity, almost forgetting the rest of his words or her reason for coming entirely. Four years? And he has been repeating this to her five times?]

Yuan, I-

[She freezes before another word can get out. Was it even five times alone? If memories were lost - had he been doing this even longer? What about Mithos? Kratos? How much time had they all spent telling her where she was, getting glimpses of her again only to know she would-]

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

[There's no use trying to keep her sadness out of her voice and eyes, so she turns her face away from Yuan completely to look at her knees.]

...I shouldn't have come, should I?

[She's apologizing again. Apologizing for something that isn't her fault. Yuan knows that if she'd been given a choice, she would never have left Luceti at all. It's the nature of this world that's to blame.

For a moment, he's overcome by the urge to take Martel's hand, or place a hand on her shoulder. Anything that might be a soothing gesture. But she's sitting across from him, with a table blocking the way, so he loses his nerve again.]

You aren't to blame for this situation. There's nothing anyone can do to change it. ... It's a common philosophy to make the best of things while one's stuck here.

[Which is easier said than done when bad things keep happening.]

Then why aren't you doing that?

[Martel turns her head back toward Yuan, not even bothering to dry her tears.]

If things cannot be changed, why do I have to cross the entire village behind my little brother's back to just talk to my friends? Why do I have to say my friends when I should be saying our friends? You all keep saying that I am not to blame - but you all treat me like I am! Things don't matter here, do they? You know how - you know how this ends. So can't you stop playing tug of war?

[She swallows a sob.]

I know Mithos is - no, I don't know. He's as wrong as the sky is. He looks the same on the surface... so do you... but you all feel like different people. And that's my fault. I'm sorry I'll die. I'm sorry I died. If- if I can, if I remember, I'll try to change things. What else do you all want me to do? I'm sorry you lost me.

[She lost them all at once.]

Martel...

[She's crying. She's crying, and it's all his fault. Maybe if he could explain things a little better, he could've softened the blow. He's just not sympathetic enough to consider how this whole thing is making Martel feel.

He finally finds the motivation to push himself to his feet and walks around the table to take the seat next to Martel.]

... I already told you, Kratos and I are to blame for what happened to Mithos. We made all the wrong decisions and we made them willingly. We lost track of what was most important. ... Mithos considers us traitors because we realized that we made a mistake, which is something he refuses to admit himself.

And you would not have had to make these decisions at all if I had been there. Mithos is my responsibility, I should have been the one to-

[...]

...What mistake? It's hardly your fault anything happened to me.

Edited (I meant 3.) 2012-01-18 19:14 (UTC)

... It was after you died. Mithos- no, we decided that instead of allowing you to rest in peace, we would find a way to bring you back.

[He doesn't meet Martel's gaze, he just stares at his own knees as he continues. She needs to understand that while it was her death that caused it all, it was the three of them who were ultimately responsible. It was the three of them who strayed. Not her.]

We decided that instead of germinating the Great Seed, we would use its mana and that of Derris-Kharlan to support your soul. We decided that in order to keep the two worlds in check, we would need to rule over them ourselves. ... And we decided that if we wanted to have a world without discrimination, everyone would need to become the same race. ... Angels.

[There are so many things she can answer to this that Martel does not even know where to begin.

The biggest thing. She needs to start with the biggest thing, then work her way down the smaller ones. If she tackles all problems one by one, calmly, methodically, she knows she can make some sense of what Yuan has just said. Everything always turns out alright with enough hope and patience.

What is the biggest problem?

Is trying to bring her back wrong? ...Is she even the right person to answer that question? Choosing her life over the Great Seed is wrong. Of that, there is little doubt. But is it more wrong than world domination? Surely it has to be. One implies the death of the planet, the other does not. A world without discrimination. That one is good. Bottom of the list, then. All races the same, no, that is the opposite of what they hope for.

Hoped for. Past tense. It has already happened.

Have they even ever shared her hopes?

Hope and patience. Hope and patience. Choosing her over the great seed is the worst wrong. Then making all people the same. After that, probably ruling the worlds. Where does resurrecting her fit? Perhaps here? Right. Resurrecting her. That is wrong. Then all people angels in a world free of discrimination, that one is...

...

That one...]

...You got your wish.

[They were all equal, all angels, in a world where people were kind and she lived on.]

You got exactly what you wanted.

[Yuan didn't know what sort of response he was expecting. Only potential responses he could scratch off the list. He knew she wouldn't lose her temper, because she simply isn't like that. He knew she wouldn't condone what they've done in any way, because this is the sort of thing that isn't supposed to be condoned.

But this... Such a vague, almost bitter response... That's the sort of thing he was fearing the most.]

No. ... We envisioned some sort of... impossible utopia. A perfect world, without any kind of strife or pain. This is nothing like that.

[He's still staring down at his knees, his hands entwining with each other to the point where it may almost seem like he's praying.]

... I can't even begin to apologize for what we did. All the hopes and dreams we used to have... We lost track of everything.

[Martel raises her head up with a weary sigh, then gets out of her chair and crosses the room to the nearest window, where she stands still for a long time, quietly drying her tears. She gazes at the other houses of the village and at the snow-laden trees before turning her head around, back toward Yuan.]

If it's impossible, then how about we don't?

[She spins around completely and faces the table from across the room, her voice still wavering, but determined.]

Apologize. How about we don't? It would be pointless, wouldn't it? There is no way I could make up for dying. Or that you could make up for - for - for what you did. For what Mithos and Kratos did. Not with words. There is no use even thinking about it. Not... here.

[Martel gestures vaguely at the village and the eerie world beyond the window.]

This place... maybe that is what it does. Twist dreams. Either we are all already paying for our mistakes somehow, or there is no point to it. So how about we don't apologize? If we know that we can't, why waste what time we have left on feeling sorry for ourselves? Or we could.. we could have something big and official and say how sorry we are all at once, then just... let it go. You said it - time here does not count. We don't have to spend it hurting each other.

[Martel's offer reminds him of one he made to Kratos a while ago. That after all the stunts they've pulled in the past- after all the ways they've made each other miserable, they should just call it even. That way, they could start again with a clean slate in this place.

It worked, for the most part. There's less awkward tension between them than there was when Kratos first arrived.

But Martel isn't talking about just herself, Kratos and Yuan. She's involving the fourth member of their group in it as well.]

... If you can get Mithos to earnestly believe that, I'm all for it.

[He isn't trying to point fingers. He just knows perfectly well that Mithos would never drop this issue. Even if he were to agree to a truce because Martel asks him to do so, all those feelings of hatred would still be there.]

[Martel unexpectedly chuckles; a large part of it sadness, but the rest genuine amusement.]

Are you certain you are from my future? You sound like I went back in time.

[Her laughter dies out as she grips her own elbows, all too aware of how thin her words must sound to Yuan. They already sound so to herself.]

...Do you mean it? If I can get Mithos to believe it, no matter how long it takes, then you will go along with it? Let it all go while we still can? I am not stupid. I do not know much at all, either about this place, or what happened after... after me. I understand that maybe it really is impossible and you have all moved on too far ahead for me to do anything. But we made it through things more impossible than this, and I have to keep hoping.

[Little by little, Martel's smile returns to her face.]

This is the only chance I get. I... got lucky, in a way. I know I have to make my time count. And I would like to make it count by doing this.

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